Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in bishonendreams' LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 12th, 2009
7:16 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  R to NC-17 for this chapter Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 11 - Finally Die and Toshiya get a little more intimate ( Chapter 11 )             (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
4:31 am	Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 10 - Die muses, makes out with Toshiya, muses some more ( Chapter 10 )               (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
3:19 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 9 - The morning after. Die tries to figure things out, Toshiya is doing jedi mind tricks by turning the tables (in a good way).   ( Chapter 9 )                                               (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
5:06 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 8 - Toshiya inadvertantly reveals something he hadn't intended to, Die reacts exactly as predicted. Luckily Toshiya, unlike Kaoru, is not an asshole. Unexpected sweetness ensues. Seriously guys, I know this has been a pretty grim fic but we just hit the turning point, so rejoice!   ( Chapter 8 )   (18 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 10th, 2009
5:39 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 7 - Kaoru gets over his fear of being caught, with predictably assholish results. Die finally starts to find his backbone. NOTE 1 - WW3 appears to have broken out in my comments. Please ignore. NOTE 2 - I'm really not kidding about the fact that seeing people act like rape/coercion is hot pisses me off (and makes me concerned for people's mental health). Please, no more OMG IF KAORU FORCED DIE INTO SEX THAT WOULD BE HOT comments, it's creepy. Trigger warning - This fic deals with consent issues in detail. Nothing is very graphic, but it could be triggery in an emotional sense for survivors of sexual assault or emotional abuse. Part of what I'm trying to do here is delve into the whole idea of what consent is, what isn't true consent even if it seems to be because it's coerced, and what is and isn't ethical behavior in a sexual relationship. People who get off on rape, this isn't for you, and you won't find it interesting (and if anyone leaves pro-rape comments I'll delete them). This is all about the subtle stuff and how people muddle their way through it. ( Chapter 7 )       (65 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
2:59 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 6 - Die takes a nap on Toshiya's lap on the bus, we find out a bit more about Toshiya's motivations, and some bonus cuteness involving skiing.   ( Chapter 6 ) (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
5:50 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 5 - The next day. Die struggles to explain what's going on with Kaoru, Toshiya doesn't like what he's hearing and tries to talk some sense into him. Trigger warning - I should probably have put this on chapter 3 too. OK - this fic will deal with consent issues in detail. Nothing is very graphic, but it could be triggery in an emotional sense for survivors of sexual assault or emotional abuse. Part of what I'm trying to do here is delve into the whole idea of what consent is, what isn't true consent even if it seems to be because it's coerced, and what is and isn't ethical behavior in a sexual relationship. People who get off on rape, this isn't for you, and you won't find it interesting (and if anyone leaves pro-rape comments I'll delete them). This is all about the subtle stuff and how people muddle their way through it. ( Chapter 5 ) (35 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
4:54 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 4– Drunken confessions ( Chapter 4 ) (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
2:18 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  R this chapter Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 3– Finally Toshiya figures out what's making Die so unhappy. Brace guys, this one isn't pretty.   ( Chapter 3 )   (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 20th, 2009
6:11 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 2– Toshiya drags Die out for a meal, then back to his apartment. Cuteness ensues with bonus kitty (so shoot me, I find Toshiya's love of cats charming).   ( Chapter 2 ) (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
6:31 am	No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Title – No one can fight your demons for you, but sometimes they can help Rating –  G - NC17 Warnings – Explicit references to eating disorders, dubious consent, major angst Pairings – Toshiya x Die, Kaoru x Die Disclaimers – I own none of these people because slavery is illegal Description – Die-centric exploration of eating disorders, how low self esteem affects the way a person lives their life, and the way the lines between friendship and love can be blurry sometimes Chapter 1– The band meet up to shop for clothes after a break, Toshiya is upset by Die’s altered appearance   ( Chapter 1 ) (32 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 24th, 2009
5:58 pm	My subconscious is a strange place sometimes   OK, so I had this dream about Dir en grey and it was so weird and hilarious I just had to share it. I was at a show in Poland (given that I’ve never been to Poland and that she was with me in the dream I’m going to go ahead and blame seinen_no for all this), and DEG were putting on the weirdest, gayest, most ridiculously art-fag show ever. So there were people in mystical creature costumes doing interpretive dance, and children’s drawings and paintings which the dancers were displaying to the audience, and the whole stage set looked like something out of a bad production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. And then there was Kaoru, who was dressed in nothing but little spandex hot pants and sparkly wings (think Zan video but infinitely more gay), and he was prancing around with the mystical creature interpretive dancers. And then there was Die, who was playing a sparkly white piano, completely naked. Of course he had a red stool to sit on. Also, he had thoughtfully placed his piano right by the edge of the stage so that the audience could all grope him, which they were doing. At one point he stopped playing, tilted his head to the side, moved his hair out of the way, looked over his shoulder at me and made a kissy face, like he was asking me to kiss his neck. Which of course I did, because hey, I’M not gay even if everything else in my dream is. Oh, also at one point Die (in clothes this time) dived into the audience again, face first into my cleavage, and was all WOW THIS IS SO COMFY I COULD JUST STAY HERE ALL DAY. And did I mention that Kaoru was literally prancing? And that there were Moomins, for no apparent reason? Kyo was dressed up like some sort of little sprite and finally embracing his inner cute, and Toshiya was just standing there in jeans and a t-shirt looking totally normal and slightly embarrassed by the whole thing. Oh, except that he kept snickering at Kaoru’s prancing and Die’s blatantly inviting people to grope him.   So my subconscious is totally not buying Kaoru’s attempt to look manly and macho and serious. It IS however buying Die’s, um, unique self presentation, which is basically “hi, I am the fruitiest man in the world and you’d swear blind I must be gay but in fact I really really like women, and yes I mean that in a biblical sense”. And it thinks Toshiya is totally normal and just in it for the free trips to Europe, apparently. Kyo is just plain weird, and Shinya is invisible because, well, he’s kind of boring.   Any of you guys have any weird/hilarious dreams lately? (34 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
5:23 pm	Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X Kaoru Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description – Later, back at the hotel... ( Chapter 8 )               (65 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
4:12 am	Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing   Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X Kaoru Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description – The next day, Die and Kaoru find some time to get comfortable with each other               ( Chapter 7 )   (71 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 20th, 2009
1:57 am	Need some suggestions/advice about how to label a potentially problematic fic Hey there. OK, so the good news is I've found myself with a plot bunny and am actually writing new DEG fic. The bad news is, part of it revolves around Die's eating disorder issues. Now I'm formerly ana myself, but fully recovered enough that it takes a lot to really trigger me. I'm a bit worried, though, about triggering people who aren't so fully recovered, or are currently in recovery. So my question is, what's the best way to label this so that readers know that it touches on ED issues so that they can avoid it if they find that triggering or upsetting? It's nothing truly hardcore, I'm not having him do anything really crazy and the reader comes in right at the point where he's about to get help and turn it around, but still, since I've actually been ana it might hit a bit too close to home for some people. Suggestions? I'm thinking maybe putting something in the Warnings section, which I usually don't really use. (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
4:10 am	Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X ? Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description –The mystery boyfriend reveals himself   ( Chapter 6 )                           (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 1st, 2009
11:42 pm	Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X ? Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description – Morning after smut, and Die has to deal with a curious friend ( Chapter 5 )                 (25 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 9th, 2009
4:13 am	Coming Out Of The Closet Title – Coming Out Of The Closet Rating – PG13 – NC17 for some chapters Warnings – None Pairings – KaoruxToshiya, ToshiyaxKaoru Disclaimers – Unfortunately I do not own Totchi or Kaoru, although I would love to rent them for a while. Both men own themselves and are in no way responsible for the results of my twisted imagination. Chapter 16 – Train sex Comments – OK, not much more of this left and there's no way I'm going to be able to finish it since Kaoru is looking so ridiculous these days it's impossible to think of him in a sexual way any more. But I did promise to post what I had left, so here you go. Um, there's smut? ( Chapter 16 )                         (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
9:04 pm	Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X ? Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description – Die is just too horny for his own good. Luckily Toshiya knows just what to do about that. ( Chapter 4 )   Current Music: Inoran - Niraikana (30 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
2:14 am	Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing            Title – Getting Caught Isn't Always A Bad Thing Rating – NC17 overall Warnings – Prostitution, threesomes Pairings – Toshiya x Die X ? Disclaimers – Sadly I do not own Die or Toshiya. Now Die I'd kind of like to borrow and tie up for a while...but alas, no. Description – Talking things out, and a couple of confessions            ( Chapter 3 )     (21 Comments |Comment on this)